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Author Archives: Jeff Allanach
The body slam that shook the world
Casey Heynes has become an Internet sensation, not a bad feat for a teenage Australian boy who told a television reporter that he has been bullied most of his life. But that life is over. No one will ever bully … Continue reading
My puppy-dog eyes
Celeste (9) stands in front of me with her arms open wide. Me: Oh, baby, I’m too tired to carry you upstairs. Celeste: But you carried Gavin all day, and you didn’t carry me once. Me: Gavin’s half your size! … Continue reading
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An afternoon at the arcade isn’t necessarily a waste of time
I grew up in a generation that embraced arcade games, but never came down with a full-fledged case of Pac-Man Fever. Not that I didn’t try, mind you. I blew my share of quarters on Pac-Man, Galaga, Centipede, Donkey Kong, … Continue reading
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My Sweet 16 is a pound of chocolate with ears
I feel like an outsider this time of year. Everyone is talking about how their bracket is doing, and I sit silently wondering why they are worried about a small piece of medal that supports a bookshelf. I hear the … Continue reading
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Sorry Charlie, fatherhood is more than a signature on a check
I told myself I was not going to do this. I was not going to spend any time writing a single word about the nearly incoherent ranting of a misguided and overpaid actor. I was not going to dwell on … Continue reading
Steven Tyler needs a new look
“American Idol” is on television. Celeste (9): Who’s that???? Me: Steven Tyler. Karen: The lead singer of a famous rock band, Aerosmith. Celeste: Wow. He needs a new look. Me: Like what? Celeste: I don’t know … like, a normal … Continue reading
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Jimmy Buffett or Boba Fett?
Karen was driving Gavin to school the other day and changing radio stations. Gavin (5): Who’s this? Karen: Jimmy Buffett. Gavin: Boba Fett? Think he’s been watching too much “Star Wars?”
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How much ‘Star Wars’ is too much?
The 8-year-old in me will never grow tired of “Star Wars.” He will always remember standing in long lines during the summer of 1977 to watch the greatest hero in movie history save the galaxy from the evil clutches of … Continue reading
I speak kid
Gavin (5): Where was Han Solo before? Me: Excuse me? Gavin: Where was Han Solo before at the time in the ship? Me: Before when? Gavin, slightly agitated: Don’t you understand my question? Where was Han Solo before? Me: No, … Continue reading
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Pink is for girls
I don’t wear pink. There, I said it. Judge me if you will, but I feel better just saying it. Pink is for girls. Plain and simple. Oh, fashion designers can take a men’s dress shirt, dye it pink and … Continue reading