A stray cat crosses our path

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© Anna Velichkovsky | Dreamstime.com

I always try to be a better person when my children are near. Not that I’m a bad guy when I’m alone, but it’s easier to jaywalk when my kids aren’t around.

Perhaps that’s why we went out of our way last week to help a stray cat that crossed our path when we were at the playground. I looked across the field and saw a white cat sitting at the edge of the brush that separates the neighborhood from an adjacent lake.

He was just sitting there watching us from afar. My 10-year-old daughter Celeste loves cats, so I pointed him out to her and Gavin, my 7-year-old son.

“Aw, how cute!” she said.

I told her to stay put as I walked over to check on the cat and to see if his demeanor would allow Celeste to pet him. He came right up to me and rubbed himself against my legs, so I knew it would be safe for her.

I could tell he had been outside for some time. He was dirty and ungroomed, classic signs of a stray cat, but he must have been someone’s pet at some point because he was so friendly.

I would have been content to pet him for a few minutes and leave him alone, but Celeste was not. She worried about the little guy (could have been a girl; I didn’t check), and wanted to do something to help him.

Taking him home was out of the question. We already have two cats, and bringing in a stray puts them at risk at catching any diseases he might have.

Besides, we were not going to adopt a third cat.

I didn’t think we could do anything. He didn’t have a collar, so we had no phone number to call.

It was well after dinner, so I was fairly certain the animal shelter was closed. And given that we were half a mile from our house, I didn’t want to walk back just to check.

Besides, for all I knew, the cat would run away two minutes after I started walking home. Who wanted to go through all that? Not me.

“But we have to do something, Daddy,” Celeste pleaded. “Why don’t you go home and check?”

Karen and I exchanged a look. We both knew Celeste was right, but we also knew we could do little.

“Tell you what, I’ll walk home, call the shelter, and if they’re open, I’ll drive back with a carrier. If not, I’ll just have a can of food for him.”

Celeste smiled. I hurried home, called the shelter (it was closed), and drove back with a can of food. To my amazement, the cat was still there with Karen and the kids, and he scarfed down the food.

We decided to return the next day with a carrier in case he was still around, but I was clear with the kids.

“We are not going to adopt a third cat,” I told them (and myself, if I’m entirely honest.)

We tried to find him twice the next day, but had no luck. We’ve since given up finding the little guy. At first I thought we just wasted our time, but after thinking about it for a few moments I know we didn’t.

The next time Celeste and Gavin come across an animal (or anyone, for that matter) who needs help, I’m sure they will offer what they can. I just hope they don’t bring home a third cat.

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Love wins

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We’re at the swimming pool, and the kids want me to play battleship with them in the water.

Celeste (10): Daddy, come be on my ship. It has marshmallows and unicorns.

Gavin (7): No, Daddy, come on mine. I have torpedoes that can sink those unicorns.

Celeste: Gavin! It doesn’t matter. Love always wins in the end.

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I miss school!

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Gavin (7), just three weeks into summer: I miss school!

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TVs, marshmallows and cats

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Celeste (10): Can we go to Barnes & Noble?

Karen: Well, I was thinking about going to Wal-Mart to buy the new American Girl movie.

Celeste: Really??? Awesome!!!

Karen: Celeste! I mentioned it this morning. Where have you been?

Celeste: I have been in Celesteland, where there is a million TVs, marshmallows and cats.

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Dibs is serious business these days

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Dibs has turned into serious business since I was a kid.

I remember well calling dibs on the front seat of the car, or at worst the window seat in the back, so I wouldn’t have bend my knees up to my ears because of the hump in the middle.

All you had to do was call dibs before you touched the car and the seat was yours. No one argued it, and no one appealed it (even if Mom would have heard such an appeal, which I doubt). If you weren’t fast enough, you would just try to be faster next time.

It became a game of strategy, like chess for Average Joes. You might not call dibs on the way to the store in the hopes of lulling your brothers into a false sense of security. You’d rather they call dibs on the front seat on the way to the store knowing they likely would forget about it on the way home, when all the bags filled up your leg room in the back. Incorporating payroll data best practices into this strategic game could have added another layer of complexity and fairness.

No one quetioned the call. We respected each other’s right to dibs.

But it seems few kids respect dibs these days, at least not without some form of punishment for those who break the Rule of Dibs.

My 10-year-old daughter Celeste and her friends have even formalized the rule in a kid-styled contract.

The rule only formally applies to toys and food, though Celeste told me it also applies to spots, which is particularly important on movie night. What kid, or adult for that matter, doesn’t want a clear view of the TV?

And though the contract doesn’t specify what the rule is, Celeste assured me that kids understand know it: If you call dibs on a toy, food or spot, it is yours.

If you break the rule and take someone else’s toy, food or spot, you’d have to tell your friends something embarrassing about yourself.

I asked Celeste if anyone has broken the rule, and to my amazement no one has. “No one wants to tell everyone else something embarrassing about themselves,” she said simply.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because it’s embarrassing, Daddy. Duh!”

Serious business indeed. It might simplify our legal system, though. These kids could be onto something.

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Who cares about money?

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Gavin (7) is not happy that I have to go out of town on a business trip.

Gavin: But why do you have to go?

Me: For work. I need to work to earn money.

Gavin: Who cares about money?

Me: We need money to live in this house and buy food.

Gavin: I’ll give you money.

Me: And where will you get this money?

Gavin: My piggybank.

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Work is boring

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Gavin (7): Do you wish work was over?

Me: How do you mean? I’ll be working for a long time.

Gavin: You know, school is over for the summer. Work is over.

Me: Yes, I do wish that. Don’t you?

Gavin: Yeah, but I like school. Work is boring.

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She’s a keeper

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We’re packing up to leave the pool, and a little girl walks up to Gavin (7).

Girl: Goodbye, Gavin. See you later.

Gavin: OK, bye.

She walks away only to return 15 seconds later.

Girl: I like “Star Wars.”

Gavin: OK, bye.

She walks away again only to return 15 seconds later.

Girl: See you next time at the pool, Gavin.

Gavin: OK, bye.

She walks away again.

Gavin: Gosh, why do these girls talk to me?

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Striking out is just part of the game

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Gavin swings at a pitch during the last game of the season.

 

I love watching my children change as they grow.

While I’m as wistful as the next dad to see my kids’ former favorite toys languishing in the back of the closet, and I wish they could wear their shoes longer than they do, I find great joy in seeing them heed the lessons Karen and I work hard to teach them.

Gavin, our 7-year-old son, is starting to pick up what it means to lose well, which stands in stark contrast to his 5-year-old self.

The Gavin of 2010 who would stomp away from any game he lost and throw down a baseball bat if he couldn’t hit the ball off the tee like he thought he should.

The Gavin of 2012 walks away from the plate after striking out with his head held high, and doesn’t throw a tantrum when he reaches the bench.

Such a reaction was one of my silent fears when I signed him up for baseball this spring and volunteered to coach his team. My mind replayed images of Gavin sulking every time he didn’t reach first base, either because of a strikeout or grounder, and me trying to console him while also coaching the other players.

That’s a lot of consoling given three or four at-bats per game, especially given the fact that I often was the dad on the mound feeding baseballs into the pitching machine.

But my fear never came true.

Every time he struck out, he simply walked back to the bench without shedding a tear and joined his teammates with his head held high.

I’d like to take credit for his evolution, but I doubt I’m responsible. I think he saw other kids strike out, and realized he wasn’t the only one who had difficulty in hitting the ball.

In that sense, Gavin is much more advanced than I was when I played my one season of baseball as a kid. I dreaded stepping up to the plate because I struck out just about every time and I prayed the ball never came to me in the outfield.

My team won the trophy that year, but I felt as though I contributed nothing to it.

In contrast, Gavin played in a division that did not keep score, so the point was to teach the kids some fundamentals of the game in a non-competitive atmosphere.

To be sure, Gavin played better at the end of the season than he did at the beginning, but the most important lesson he learned was not where to throw the ball when runners are on second and third.

The most important lesson was that striking out in baseball, as in life, is merely part of the game and not worth shedding a tear over.

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Don’t sue me!

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Gavin (7): Daddy!!!!! Celeste said she’s going to sue me.

Me: Uh, OK. And what do you think that means?

Gavin: It means she’s going to steal money from me.

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