Advice for single mothers


Don’t turn your kids into spies

I mentioned this one in a blog post about Thanksgiving, but it belongs in this list.

Just as you may feel the urge to talk poorly about your ex in front of your children, you might also feel the urge to ask about him after they spend the night or weekend with him.

Don’t. That puts your children in the middle.

If you want to know what or how your ex-husband is doing, have the nerve to ask him yourself. Don’t turn your children into spies.

That doesn’t mean you can’t ask your kids about their weekend. It’s perfectly normal for parents to ask their children how they spend their time. Just ask them what they did during their weekend or what they enjoyed most.

If they happen to mention how their father is doing, just gloss over it and bring the conversation back to them.

My mother never once asked about our father after we spent time with him, either on the phone or in person. I’m glad she didn’t because I would not have known what to say.

Cheer loudly for your kids

I think it’s safe to say that in most two-parent families, the role of participating in youth sports falls to fathers. While this may be changing in some parts of the nation and isn’t necessarily true in every home, most of the parents I see involved in youth sports are fathers.

But since your husband left, this job will fall on you. Take it on with great excitement, even if you don’t know the difference between a three-point shot and a home run.

That’s not to say you should coach a team, but you should also not hesitate to sign up your children for sports, attend the games, and cheer your kids on as though they were Michael Jordan in the finals.

At the same time, be certain your kids want to play sports. Make sure they aren’t playing because they think you want them to. Be sure they are playing because they want to.

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